Style Invitational Week 1253: Fashion x fiction — a fake-trivia contest Plus our Ask Backwards winner and Losers (Bob Staake for The Washington Post) By Pat Myers By Pat Myers Entertainment November 9 Follow @PatMyersTWP // (Click here to skip down <#report> to the Ask Backwards winners) In his original concept drawings for the*dunce cap,* inventor I.M. Becile suggested it be worn with the opening facing up and the point balanced on the head. (Bob Staake) Joseph Ascot created*the necktie *when his wife bet he couldn’t come up with an article of men’s clothing that was totally useless and still make money off it. (Neal Starkman) Veteran ballerinas do not need to wear the usual reinforced *toe shoes,* because the bones in their feet have become fused en pointe. (Paul Kocak) The Style Invitational — since 1993 your go-to place for Genuine Fake News — presents its latest call for fictoids, in a category suggested long ago by Loser Christina Courtney: *This week: Tell us some totally bogus trivia about clothing or fashion, * as in the examples above from our various earlier Invite fictoid contests, plus our artist Bob Staake’s Own Loopy Mind. Proclaim your Loserness from on high with this week's custom-knitted second prize. (Hat designed and knitted by Catharine Mefford) Submit entries at this website: *wapo.st/enter-the-invite-1253 * (all lowercase; note the slightly different wording from the usual). Winner gets the *Lose Cannon, * our Style Invitational trophy. Second place, apropos of this week’s contest, receives this just-completed and clearly highly fashionable “Style Ink” knit hat , meticulously handcrafted and donated by Catharine Mefford of Manassas, Va. Cat isn’t a Loser but is a (duh) big fan of the Invite — “One good read and I was hooked,” she lamented to the Empress — and a member of the Style Invitational Devotees group on Facebook. *Other runners-up *win our “You Gotta Play to Lose” Loser Mug or our Grossery Bag, “I Got a B in Punmanship.” Honorable mentions get one of our lusted-after Loser magnets, “No Childishness Left Behind” or “Magnum Dopus.” First Offenders receive only a smelly tree-shaped air “freshener” (FirStink for their first ink). Deadline is Monday night, Nov. 20; results published Dec. 10 (online Dec. 7). See general contest rules and guidelines at wapo.st/InvRules . The headline for this week’s results is by Chris Doyle; Kevin Dopart wrote the honorable-mentions subhead. Join the Style Invitational Devotees group on Facebook at /on.fb.me/invdev ./ “Like” Style Invitational Ink of the Day on Facebook at bit.ly/inkofday ; follow @StyleInvite on Twitter. *The Style Conversational *The Empress’s weekly online column, published late Thursday afternoon, discusses each new contest and set of results. Check it out at wapo.st/conv1253 . And from The Style Invitational four weeks ago . . . *THEY WILL ROCK Q: ‘ASK BACKWARDS’ RESULTS* ** *Week 1249* was the 36th running of our contest in which we offered a list of short “answers” and the Losers supplied the questions. Too many people to credit noted that the fidget spinner, the infinity scarf and Cher all seem to go on forever, and that something Whole Foods doesn’t have is half-and-half. 4th place: *A. 280 characters.* Q. To stave off helicopter parents, what’s the safest criterion for choosing a high school musical? (Ward Kay, Vienna, Va.) 3rd place: *A. Mike Pence’s favorite pastime.* Q. What are cold showers? (Rob Huffman, Fredericksburg, Va.) 2nd place and the T-shirt saying ‘Don’t blame me, I voted for Hillary’ in Maori : *A. Melania’s left shoe. * Q. Can you name one of the three ostentatious heels attached to the first lady? (Jesse Frankovich, Grand Ledge, Mich.) And the winner of the Lose Cannon: *A. A fidget spinner, an infinity scarf and Cher.* Q. What does your kid think is cool, your mom think is warm and your grandpa think is hot? (Deb Stewart, Damascus, Md.) Q and nays: Honorable mentions *MELANIA’S LEFT SHOE* Where is the one place in her relationship where the first lady can put her foot down? (Ralph Nitkin, Rockville, Md.) What did Cinderella refuse to try on, for fear that it would fit? (Mark Raffman, Reston, Va.) *OOPS, THAT WAS A TYPO *Can we get the seafood platter without the crap cakes? (Jeff Hazle, San Antonio) What was the president’s tweet right after he accidentally tweeted the missile launch codes? (Kyle Hendrickson, Frederick, Md.) Ironically, what explanation has been used far more often since the advent of spell-check? (Ivars Kuskevics, Takoma Park, Md.) What do you /never/ want to hear a blood bank announce? (Steve Honley, Washington) What the heck is a tyop? (Jesse Frankovich) *A SLIM JIM SMOOTHIE* What’s the centerpiece of the South Dakota Cleanse? (Annie Sawamura, Southbridge, Mass.) What nickname did Donald Trump discard as not being demeaning enough for James Comey? (Frank Osen, Pasadena, Calif.) What do they call a guy roaming the NASCAR after-parties trying to hit on the ladies? (Bird Waring, Larchmont, N.Y.) What is made to order by a soda jerky? (Frank Mann, Washington) What is another name for diarrhea? (Bird Waring) *280 CHARACTERS* What do you get by doubling Twitter, or halving “Game of Thrones”? (Andrew Elby, Arlington, Va.) What is 140 characters more than most people need to fully demonstrate their complete banality? (John Hutchins, Silver Spring, Md.) What is the recommended length of passwords for Equifax accounts? (Jeff Contompasis, Ashburn, Va.) What would double the president’s workload? (Brian Allgar, Paris) What do Twitter programmers hope will be “enough rope” for the president? (Jon Gearhart, Des Moines) I*DON’T THINK THEY HAVE THAT AT WHOLE FOODS* Honey, will you pick me up a bag of frozen GMO batter-dipped manatee nuggets? (Bill Dorner, Indianapolis) Where do I go to get buns of steel? (Hildy Zampella, Falls Church, Va.) Have you ever had to eat humble pie? (Bird Waring) What did Alexa keep saying to Jeff Bezos when he kept telling her to “buy Whole Foods”? (Ivars Kuskevics) *WYNKEN, BLYNKEN & STYNKEN* What medical office has two specialists in eye surgery and one in hemorrhoid removal? (Mark Raffman) What poem tells the story of three children who sailed off in a wooden loo? (Mark Calandra, Sudbury, Mass.) How did the film industry spend 20 years dealing with Harvey Weinstein? (Ira Allen, Bethesda, Md.) Hey, what was goin’ on at Syngles Night at Ben’s Chili Bowl? (Steve McClemons, Arlington, Va.) *MIKE PENCE’S FAVORITE PASTIME* What is crossing the days off the giant calendar in his kitchen? (Susan Kaplan, Tucson, a First Offender) *FLUFFY OR SOMETHING * Congrats on getting that film studio job in the Valley, honey! What’s your title? (Ben Aronin, Washington; Chris Doyle, Denton, Tex.; Mark Raffman) Mr. President, what was the name of your most beloved childhood pet? (John McCooey, Rehoboth Beach, Del.; J. Larry Schott, West Plains, Mo.) Mr. King! Larry King! We understand you’re getting married for the ninth time; what’s the new bride’s name? (David Garratt, Silver City, N.M.) *FARGO, NORTH DAKOTA* What U.S. city has had exactly as many NFL, MLB, NBA and NHL champions as Washington in the last three decades? (Peter Jenkins, Bethesda, Md.) What city is nicknamed “The Town That Always Sleeps”? (Rob Huffman) Where do you need a background check to buy a wood chipper? (Tom Witte, Montgomery Village, Md.) How far do I need to travel outside the Beltway to find affordable housing? (David Kleinbard, Mamaroneck, N.Y.) *THE COMMA BEFORE THE STORM* Of the Vietnam War, Watergate, and Hurricane Katrina, what still gets the most debate on Twitter? (David Garratt) What comes after every Trump tweet that starts with “Believe me”? (Kathy MacDonald, Columbia, Md.) What’s Italian for “momentary truce”? (Steve Glomb, Alexandria, Va.) *NOSE HAIR EXTENSIONS* What made the prince suddenly retch when he finally reached Rapunzel’s window? (Jeff Shirley, Richmond, Va.) What did my son seek out as part of his “Dad” Halloween costume? (Mark Raffman) What’s one way to score a “0.0” in Date Lab? (Tom Witte) What’s an anagram of “No sex is near in those”? (Jesse Frankovich) ** *Still running — deadline Monday night, Nov. 13: our contest to name a new medication. See wapo.st/invite1252 . *